Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Saturday, March 26, 2005dear diary,hm, let's start with last night. Last night i went for a badger camp closure debrief cum bbq, but i couldn't make it for the debrief cos i had some commitments. So ya, the bbq was fun, the guys just so enjoy making fun of us lar. But i guess the best part was seeing mei yi laugh, u know she hasn't been laughing for the past goodness knows how many days. Oh! and the best part, she finally knew how to wash fish, cindy too! they're going to be potential house"flies" haha! oops, later kena whack. hehe.. okay. so i haven't been laughing for quite some time either, and ya, yesterday i laughed! hehe... didn't talk a lot last night though cos i was just feeling really tired and having lose so much blood, it made things worse. i was just thinking, i remembered a discussion bout blogs last time and we were saying how we could indirectly aim our anger and unhappiness at someone in the blog, and i did that, quite a few times, but u know i've just been aimed at by someone and i dun feel very good at all, i mean its sad cos suddenly u can't talk things out face to face and the only way u can vent ur frustrations is through the net, and i think tt's kinda sick. so ya... ah wells, i guess technology has set in.. oh maybe i'm just being sensitive cos of my, u know, menses and stuff... haiya! wadever lar... some issues just get on my nerve, and i believe many other pple's nerves as well.. haha.. i'm crapping. shall end here. ciao! Thursday, March 24, 2005Dear diary,orientation at tpjc was boring, maybe it was becos i didn't participate enough, but seriously i hardly even know anyone from my OG except those pple i got to know lar... but ya, other than tt, i don't even know whose from my OG... sheesh, crap right... But i could see the counsellors and OGLs trying to do their stuff but i guess it just isn't working, i mean i guess the 2nd orientation is just that little more unlively huh... but ah well, i guess everyone takes time to warm up. I feel so sad today, i'm snapping at nearly everyone, and i'm really sorry bout tt, its seriously PMS cos my mens came today. so that explains right... hai, and just when i thought choosing subject combi was bad enough, going back to SAC was worse, it broke my heart. its so heart-breaking to see something u once took so much "han xue" to build up to so quickly rot away. it isn't easy leading, its even more diff to lead pple who aren't interested, i understand, but having that kind of standard is just unaccpetable. u know? wait a min, who am i talking to in the first place. argh! i'm going crazy! sick sick sick, urgh!!!! Tuesday, March 22, 2005Dear diary,I checked my posting at 7.38 today. That was how early i was. Can't believe myself really, but oh well, i had to go out for breakfast with my mum at 8 right, so I thought i could just try my luck checking. I got into tpjc science! haha... and school starts tomorrow! =) Okay, had yong tau fu for lunch and very glad my mum cooked for dinner cos i'm just too lazy to get out of the house. haha... oh! u know, i think my mum's going to allow me to go for the camp closure thing, but, BUT, i still may not go cos they might not allow me to go for just the bbq and not the debrief... so ya... oh well... just try my luck... hm.. i guess that's about all. i haven't bathe. think i'll go bathe soon. seriously i always get sick at the beginning of something. i remember being sick when i first started school at srjc, and now i'm down with flu and tomorrow's orientation at tpjc... sheesh... how wonderful... anyways, i'm off now. ciao! Monday, March 21, 2005dear diary,today is my last day in srjc. A week ago i thought i could cry during the last day of school, but i guess that one week hols kinda pulled me away, and i'm surprised i could suddenly let go so easily. Initially, he wanted to come to school, but i guess he was with his other half so he didn't come and somehow i'm quite glad. I guess i didn't like him as much. I'll miss him, that's for sure, but i guess staying as friends may be so much better, and anyways i don't even think we'll keep in contact cos... ya. I just hope that wherever i may be going will leave me with better memories to cheish. Thinking back, i find myself so silly. How could i have so easily told someone i was interested and now find that actually, it was just a silly lil crush. sheesh. i find myself so stupid lor... urgh. irritating irritating. i never expected myself to become like that, someone slap me! (not literally though) =) okay so anyways i'm crapping. Back to what i did for my last day of school. Absolutely nothing. Except for maybe chem and math, which i erm totally forgot. =X But chem was beneficial, cos i learnt something though i was nodding off. left school at 11.30, headed for Kovan. Settled at KFC to do our softboard and headed somewhere else to eat. Felt so bad for just using that place to do our stuff and we didn't even buy anything okay.... =X pearly, yoggie and i ended up at the hawker center instead. I ate economical beehoon. $1.80. haha. Was trying desperately to save money, but didn't really end up saving anything cos i bought sour skittles in the end. haish. And to think i wanted to loose weight. There's a camp closure for the badger camp!!!!! i want to go!!!!!!! But i know clearly my mum isn't going to allow me to go and anyways i got to stay at my uncle's place to take care of the kids... sigh. I really want to go for this closure. But oh well, *sigh* Hm... oh ya, so i was at the softboard thing. It didn't turn out qutie the way i expected it to be but i was nice!!! And we could see that the teachers were touched. (aw...) hehe... okay, so i guess that's all for today. Take care all! *hugz* Thursday, March 17, 2005I'll Stand By You By : Girls AloudOh, Why You Look So Sad? Tears are in your eyes Come on and come to me now Don’t be ashamed to cry Let me see you through ’cause I’ve seen the dark side too When the night falls on you You don’t know what to do Nothing you confess Could make me love you less I’ll stand by you I’ll stand by you Won’t let nobody hurt you I’ll stand by you So if you’re mad, get mad Don’t hold it all inside Come on and talk to me now Hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too Well I’m a lot like you When you’re standing at the crossroads And don’t know which path to choose Let me come along ’cause even if you’re wrong I’ll stand by you I’ll stand by you Won’t let nobody hurt you I’ll stand by you Take me in, into your darkest hour And I’ll never desert you I’ll stand by you And when... When the night falls on you, baby You’re feeling all alone You won’t be on your own I’ll stand by you I’ll stand by you Won’t let nobody hurt you I’ll stand by you Take me in, into your darkest hour And I’ll never desert you I’ll stand by you I’ll stand by you Won’t let nobody hurt you I’ll stand by you Won’t let nobody hurt you I’ll stand by you Wednesday, March 16, 2005i'm finally back from camp!!! Actually, i was home yesterday, but was just too tired to do anything so i just unpacked my bag and slept!!! =)okay, let's start with friday... Last friday, i didn't go back to srjc, instead, i went to MI. All in the name of having fun. But it wasn't really fun cos half the time was spent in the library and worrying that we would get caught... and in fact we sort of got caught cos 1 of mei yi's teachers recognized us the moment he saw us and me and pearly were like "die die". But oh well, we came out in 1 full piece at the end of the day... *grinz* oh that place is seriously wearing out. Initially i thought when my friends said that the bus stop would shake whenever a bus passes was just exaggeration, but then i seriously felt it myself, and its scary! And i kicked myself against the seat the moment i got off the bus. :X So anyway, i saw minfeng there, and a few other familiar faces, which was cool. The people there were quite friendly, so i didn't felt left out or anything... but i guess that place just wouldn't suit me... :) i left MI at aroung 12, mei yi went to buy lunch and pearly and I headed for serangoon central. only after we parted did i realise... we haven't book the courts!!! :X thank goodness i managed to find my way there with help and booked the court. :) The courts were quite expensive, like 5 bucks per hour... its expensive for a community center. But oh well, i booked it in the end. :) Okay, i accompanied pearly a while at heartland mall, wasting our time away walking aimlessly :) so i left at about 2.30 for home to recheck my bag, ensure i've got everything in place before camp. And i met mei yi and cindy at 5.15 at the bus stop. By the time we reached serangoon, it was 6++ and we thought we were late cos we were suppose to meet for dinner initially at 6, but it appeared that everyone else was late so we became the earliest! :) We were all kinda excited, and ended up at S11 eating dinner. Erm, we were actually late for meeting u know.. but haha, we weren't the only ones. The first night wasn't that heart-warming, i mean we actually had to fall in and do drill, seriously i could have just died on the spot cos i mean i haven't been doing drill for such a long time, somemore he kalua baris, and u know the best part was that i was standing in the first row, i was soooo afraid i did something wrongly k... but i didn't! haha! oh and after falling out, everyone was grumbling, cos we didn't expect them to be that strict, i mean this was suppose to be a leisure camp after all, but oh well, no choice rite.. The first night ended with trying out some games the kids were going to play, wasn't very fun cos i guess everyone was just tired after such a long day. But we got to know each other at least. :) okay, the second day came quickly cos we slept only at about 3a.m in the morning. :X and we had to woke up at about 6 later that tues. bathed, and got into learning the badger song-- "absolutely everything" =) Initially when i got my group together, i was thinking to myself... "die, they all look so dead and tired" and they were, but i guess time warms everything up. My group wasn't too bad, ony 7 kids on total. Poor cindy and wei keat, they had 10 kids, and all the notorious ones happened to b in their group as well. poor things really. but i guess they were good with children so it was alright. okay, the first day passed quite alright. Second day came the games and this was when the heart-warming scenes started coming in. Seeing the guys playing with kids, they mischevious looks on their faces really lightened me up. Seeing guys like that made me feel that there are still guys who like kids. you should have seen the scene at the basketball court during interaction time, it was heart-warming. =) And the kids enjoyed it too! hehe... okay, so the second day really tired us out cos we had the campfire as well... oh u know what, my group won the 1st runner up in the overall catergory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how surprising! i never expected it seriously, not with my group behaving the way they did.. =) oh and iv found myself more angry with myself than before cos i realised how impatient i am, and how much that irritates me really. argh! but okay, our division won 3 out of the 5 prizes. ain't it cool.. :) so we divided the prizes evenly within the whole division. the kids took autograph and seriously i'm kinda regretting i left my home address. :X quite stupid rite but heck lar. oh ya, the third day must have been a nightmare for my pooor cindy. her stomach played out on her and she suffered terrible accute pains. i'd never seen her so weak before. i guess she isn't as strong as she thinks herself to be.. :X but at least she went home pretty early to sleep while the rest of us spent the time playing badminton. A scary thing happened, sheesh, its so long to say. i shall amaze u guys with my stories when i see u. (",) okay, and i was back 2 days ago, but still i think the lack of sleep must have gotten seriously into me. so tired now... ciao! Wednesday, March 09, 2005today was a short, but tiring day. the first 2 periods of G.P were nothing but non-stop writing. math didn't even have a third of the lecture hall filled. i guess right now, everyone just wants to rest at home, and some just want to get a little more spare cash. =) haha... oh well...know why my title's like that? cos i'm pissed. i have no idea why some people change so much after being in a mix school, or how they become so rebellious, and lie even to their closest friends(of which some lies were just ridiculous). but ya, and when u ask them to do a little something, they start to procratinate. i mean come on, where's all the loyalty. just cos they meet some new cute guys, they go all crazy, and old friends don't matter anymore. seriously i feel like a spare tyre sometimes, i mean okay, i dun mind lending a listening ear, but u know when i need a listening ear, i'm mostly talking to myself. urgh. wadever. i wonder how long i can tolerate. bleah! and i'm a straight forward person and u all know, but this time i'm stumped, i have no idea how to say it cos she's become so rebellious i really wonder if anything goes in. oh wadever. darn. Friday, March 04, 2005i was suppose to have updated this last night, but kept dozing off while typing so figured i might as well do it now... :)well, yesterday was a bad, BAD day to have an outing cos it rained and rained and rained non-stop. but then again, the food portion brightened up everyone cos we just stood underneath the shelter eating and eating. unfortunately, that shelter was so filled with ants it grossed even the guys. the base of the radio one of my classmates brought was so filled with ants you might have thought that was the base o the radio. okay, to put it simple, the sight was revolting. and, i'm currently recouperating from the numerous red ant bits on my poor toes. :x i have like 3 bits on 1 poor toe. :'( just imagine how its swelling right now. :'( but oh well, overall it was fun! haha... just look at how time flies, 2 months ago. i was brooding over having to go to a school i never expected i would get into, and a week later i was dreading having to go to school. A month later, i complained bout many many things, and now, i'm going to say, i love my class!!! i really do. having a small class does have its advantages cos u get to know each person more and the time u spend with each other is more. the pple u talk to becomes limited and thus, resulting in speaking more to each other. honestly i think i'll miss this class a lot. nearly as much as how i miss SAC, but a bit less. today, my "daddy" getting his results, really hope he does well. :) oh well, guess i'll stop here. take care everyone! Tuesday, March 01, 2005guess wad me and mei yi did today... honestly my legs are aching right now... okay, let me start with the morning...met mei yi in the morning to play badminton, tried some warm-ups then wei keat joined us... he's good u know... haha... i think i take a long time to warm up.... very long in fact... but oh well, guess i'm not tt seasoned to the game yet... and so, we started to talk bout some stuff tt was affecting us... yup, and somehow i feel, oh well.... anyways... we were saying tt we can't have the best of both worlds and sometimes, God is fair. we both did well, but we were upset over some other stuff, and very upset in fact. but then again, we ended up on the same conclusion, and tt is just to be there for the person we like, be it whether or not we are together. we just want to be the 1 standing there when he's down, just to be tt friend when he has no one to turn to... even if we were the last person he was to approach... okay, i didn't think that made sense but i mean, if u were in our shoes, u'd have understand perfectly. yup, honestly, i never had to face this kinda stupid problems when i was still in SAC, but what the heck... oh anyway its our(SAC) foundress day today! in other words, its CANOSSIAN SAINTS DAY again!!! happpy saints day everyone! we're one year older again... and may SAC rule forever and ever and ever... GO SAC!!! P.S. i know some pple aren't all tt happy, and i really don't mean to rub salt or anything. i sincerely apologize if my entry has caused u to be more upset.... u can always give me a ring if u need a listening ear ya? |